My leg really hurts...I got hit by a very fast-moving softball (I was mostly to blame for it, I guess- I shouldn't have gotten in its way), so now I have a very big, very nasty-looking bruise on my leg. Other than that, softball was great. 'Course, I got sunburned yet again on my face and forearms.
Sometimes I think I act "untouchable" to people, not necessarily in the literal, physical sense, but more along the lines of talking to me, approaching me, asking me what's up, good or bad...it's usually when I seem the most untouchable that I'm most vulnerable, and need someone to talk to, even if they have to shake me really hard or make me mad to get it all out of me.
There's stuff I wish I could say, but I can't...sometimes it's so much easier to build up a wall and not let anybody in, instead of letting it all out...
Like most people, when I say everything's fine, it doesn't always mean I'm telling the truth...
I'm always the reliable one, the one who'd do anything for a friend or family member within my ability...I want to be known as that kind of person, but sometimes I wish I wasn't so reliable...I wish people would know when to take me more seriously, and not just shrug off things I say...most of the times I'm good to go, but occasionally I get down (like tonight, in case nobody noticed) and get to thinking about it.
I try not to wallow in pity too much, 'cause it never gets me anywhere...life isn't always fair- I learned that a long time ago...people like to say I can fight it, but I can only do so much...I don't have but so much power over the way things are...
I'm wanting something that I don't think I can have...
Jessamyn, Lelia, some days I miss you guys so bad...stuff I want to tell you about- fuss about, cry about, laugh about...but I can't, 'cause you're both far away- well, too far for me to drive and see you real often...email and IM can only do so much...
I'm ready to date...goodbye to the old, hello to the new...I'm trying to be patient, 'cause I don't want just anybody, but sometimes I get tired of being lonely...most of the time, I'm fine with having lots of friends to hang out with, and loneliness seems far, far away...but once again, I have times like tonight...
So what's wrong with me tonight, you ask? A couple of things, none of which I'll divulge in here...I can't guarantee I'll tell you about it in person, if you ask me, but you can try...
On a happier note...I went shopping on Saturday and found some things I've been needing...bought two pair of earrings, too...they were kinda pricey, but they're ones I'll be able to always wear...better to buy them now while I'm still living in my parents' house and can afford to spend a little money here and there, than wait till I'm out on my own and can't afford them at all...
Baker had a great lesson tonight...gave everybody some good things to think about, I think...
No matter how down I seem to get, I know I always have God to talk to and turn to...He's been there for me, especially through some really tough times, and I know He always will be there, as long as I let him...thank you, God, for my family and friends that are there for me and always support me, through the ups and downs...I don't know what I'd do without them...
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