No work today- yah! But I still have school...
Ok, so yesterday my mom runs into a teacher I had years and years ago- think middle school- and they start talking about me. She asks my mom at one point, "Isn't she dating Josh...?" and my mom tells her that we were dating, but we broke up a while back. She acts kinda shocked and asks how long ago this happened and the reason why. My mom told her the limited amount she knows about it. (I figure I'll save her the disappointment and confusion of knowing any more.) Just when I think everybody knows...and how did she, of all the random people, know who I'd been dating, and that we'd been dating a good while?
I'm so tired of the confusion and uncertainty...none of it makes any more sense to me now than it did then...my faith has grown so much stronger because of all this, and I am moving on...but will any of it ever make sense? I'm tired of the well-meaning advice and comments...I just want normalcy. Why can't I just buy into the "stereotypical guy" thing...Why can't I just give up? Maybe because my gut -my heart? God? - tells me otherwise...There is a reason for all of this...whether it was supposed to come down the way it did, I don't know, but God will use it either way- of that I am sure.
Have you ever bluntly told someone that you're not friends [anymore]? It hurts to do it...I didn't want to do it, but it's what the situation amounts to...why can't he understand what things have come to? If he'd speak to me, in person...it's so frustrating to see it all slip away...Give me peace about this, Lord...give me patience to stick with this and whatever may lie ahead...I've never been in such a confusing and weird situation...
I know there's hope- even when things look pretty bad, there is hope...and this, too, shall pass... :)
PRAY...
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