Loneliness Bites

Boring weekend. Nothing interesting.
Saturday was a glum day.
Saturday night and Sunday afternoon were wonderfully peaceful...I feel like God's been trying to work on me alot about some things lately, and I've finally come to accept some of it.
Bible Study was fine...talked to Heather and Holly some...then sat out on the swing by myself for half an hour or so, thinking, listening to the rain and the guys playing basketball outside...idiots for playing in the rain, but hey, to each his own, lol...
I'm tired of feeling lonely. There's never anything to do, anywhere to go. I've never been big on always going places, cause it tires me out pretty quick...I never grew up doing alot of stuff with people...always did stuff with my family, which I accepted. But now...maybe it's my age, maybe it's other things too, but I'm tired of always staying at home. I love my family dearly, and I love doing stuff with them, but...I want to do stuff with other people too. I want to go somewhere even though there's no good reason to, but just because. Regardless of what other people may think as a result. For once, I don't want to care what my parents or anybody else think of me or things I do or say.
So there's this beach trip...I was a major idiot to think my dad would let me go with and stay with a group of guys for a night or so, until everybody else showed up. Dream on, Susan...what was I thinking? So I guess I get his reasoning behind that...I wanted to go to the beach so bad is all, I guess. 'Course, my dad doesn't even really see a reason for me to go on Sunday, either, since I'll be coming right back later on that same day. I think he'd be thrilled if I just stayed home all the time and never hung out with people. My family will probably be going to the beach in September, turns out...that's just great, another beach trip with the family.
I want to go to the movies.
I want to check my email in the morning and find one really good email.
I want to have something to do this week.
I want to go out on a date. With a hot guy, preferably. :)
I don't want to lead anybody on or be led on my anybody...well, actually, I might not mind leading on some poor, unsuspecting soul, cause I'm in that kind of mood at the moment... :)- Shame on me.
I want to be cool with staying home with my family, content with who I am and what I stand for. Comfortable in my own skin.
I want to take a vacation. Without my family. Even if it's only for a day or so. Heather, if you ever wanna go to the beach for the day, or overnight one night, let me know... :)
I want to have a crush on somebody. Be interested in somebody that's interested back.
I want to go to House Party and the Rascal Flatts concert in September, even though they're only a week apart.
I want to be like everybody else, yet I don't...I want to be cool with not drinking or cussing or getting a million tatoos or piercings...I want to be totally sure of what I believe in....actually, I don't even want to have to have a reason to deal with any of those issues to begin with...
I want to be decisive, instead of so darn indecisive about things.

Blogging is my therapy when I've had a crappy day...there's something about being able to pour out your thoughts and emotions into something akin to a personal journal, except that it's not that personal, 'cause anybody can read it and then know what you're thinking...but I've found that it's a good stress reliever, a way to release thoughts that otherwise I can't seem to get rid of or stop thinking about...now that I've done just that, I think I'll head to bed...
"Every day is a new day, with no mistakes in it." ~ Anne of Avonlea (one of the best movies of all time, in my opinion, lol)